So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
