if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
