Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
