I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
