dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
They took my balls.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
