____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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