He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
