Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
