Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
