Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
