Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
