I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
there is puke in my bra ... again
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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