Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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