Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
