I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
