I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my sisters under your porch take her home
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
