Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
