he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize