He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
