I accidentally burped into my bong.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
