you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
