OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
