i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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