Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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