and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
