he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize