yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
