I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
