In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
