ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
