i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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