So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize