walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
