I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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