If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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