my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
