so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
