it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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