I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
This baby is an asshole
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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