I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
farters have to be the big spoon...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
