Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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