I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
