i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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