Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
