The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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