my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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