I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You are a genius and a whore.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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