What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
PANTIES FOUND
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
