new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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