someone get that fucking seahorse.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
