wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
