There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Farmville is her only friend.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Ladies don't puke and tell
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
