she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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