id be glad to
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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