Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
