I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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