is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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