put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
