Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
