Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
you never un-have a 4some
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize