So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
