i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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