Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
