btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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