We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
