I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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