Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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