Just mADE A PArabola og urine
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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