i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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